Coming Out as Trangender, Genderqueer, and/or Non-Binary Masterpost

Last updated June 4, 2015

I’ve been getting lots of questions on Genderqueer and Non-Binary Identities in regards to coming out lately. I continue to welcome questions, but I would also like to make a masterpost of resources I tend to recommend to people. This is a work in progress and suggestions are welcome. Please note, you should not feel obligated to come out. Furthermore, you may want to come out to some people, but not to others – this is a very personal process.

You may find pros as well as cons in the resources below  – take what you find will be useful to you and leave the rest behind. Be aware that coming out can be followed by unpredictable responses, both positive and negative, from friends, family, or partners. Since there are fewer resources at present about coming out as genderqueer or non-binary, many resources will pertain to transgender people who identify as men or women. Many of these suggestions can potentially be adapted to one’s own identity and situation, though we would love to see more genderqueer and non-binary specific guides! I have also included guides to potentially show people one has come out to in order to aid in understanding. As with the guides on coming out, use your own discretion, as a variety of suggestions and viewpoints are represented.

If you know of further resources concerning coming out as trans*, genderqueer, and/or non-binary or want to share your own personal coming out story, please feel free to add them.

How-Tos on Coming Out:

Art of Transliness: Trans* and Queer: Tips for Coming Out and Dealing with People

Human Rights Commission: Coming Out in the Workplace as Transgender

MCC Transgender Ministries – Coming Out as a Transgender Person: A Workbook (religion-oriented)

Susan’s Place: A Guide to Coming Out to Family

Transgender Mental Health: Thoughts on “coming out” as Transgender to family

TransYouth Family Allies: Considering Coming Out as Gender Variant/Transgender to Your Parents?

Forums Where You Can Ask Questions About Coming Out:

AVEN: Gender DiscussionLaura’s PlaygroundScarleteen: Gender IssuesSusan’s PlaceTransYada

Personal Stories and Advice on Coming Out and Other Resources:

Everyday Feminism: Coming Out as Genderqueer Non-Binary (Outside Of and Within the Queer Community)

Hackgender: On Coming Out as Genderqueer

Neutrois Nonsense: On (Not) Coming Out

Neutrois Nonsense: Coming Out: The Plan

Sex Etc.: Coming Out as Genderqueer

When I Came Out: Stories on Coming Out as Genderqueer

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FAQs and Guides for People You Have Come Out To:

American Psychological Association: Answers to Your Questions About Transgender People, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression

Feeling Wrong in Your Own Body: Understanding What it Means to Be Transgender by Jaime Seba (a good general book – title may be problematic; this includes some discussion of genderqueer identity)

Gendered Intelligence: A Guide for Parents and Family Members of TransPeople in the UK

Gender Now Coloring Book: A Learning Adventure for Children and Adults by Maya Christina Gonzales

Trans-kin: A Guide for Family & Friends of Transgender People by Eleanor A. Hubbard and Cameron T. Whitley

TransWhat?: A Guide Towards Allyship

Source: GENDERQUEER AND NON-BINARY IDENTITIES –  Coming Out as Trangender, Genderqueer, and/or Non-Binary Masterpost